Order Me Around
by theRegalBeagle
Summary: Ratings: PG - M. Ten responses to ten prompts for the LJ community 10 orders. Diego/Sid, most are fluffy or hurt/comfort. 8/10 posted. All individual one-shots.
1. 1: Smile for me

**Title:** The Sweet Spot  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Diego/Sid  
><strong>Prompt:#1:<strong> Smile for me.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash pairing, Animal pairing. You heard me.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!  
><strong>Summary:<strong> "Come on, 'tiger! Smile for me!"

His long, dull claws slid across the Saber's ribs in quick and short motions. Diego turned his head and glared questioningly at the sloth beside him.

"What are you doing?" He asked dimly, his eyes never removing themselves from the other mammal. Sid pulled his claws back and cocked his head with a goofy smile.

"I'm trying to tickle you. To get you to laugh and smile for once, you grouch." Diego growled low in his throat, his instincts wanting to threaten but his affection for the other countering. He turned his head back around and shut his eyes.

"Knock it off."

"Oooohhh…" Sid moaned, hopping over the Saber's tired body. He bent himself, face meeting face, his butt sticking up in the air unashamed. And this is what Diego saw when he finally opened his eyes. "Come on, 'tiger! Smile for me!" The sloth teased, tickling him under the chin sweetly. Diego pulled away again, but Sid persisted to try and make the strict tiger laugh. His claws gently caressed strong shoulders, a straight back, and finally ears that he knew must have been the most sensitive across the icy plains.

"You can give me glares all you want, but I know where your sweet spot is Diego." Sid drawled out as innocently as he could. He dug his claws into one of those sharp ears and watched as Diego's head titled and his mouth opened just slightly into a purr. He tried to pull away after a few second, but Sid reclaimed that ear quickly.

"And there's that smile I love!" Sid nuzzled the other's head lovingly, never letting his claws cease in their venture. All Diego could do was fall victim to the sloth, and purr and smile until his eyes shut once again for the night.

**A/N:** I wanna' do these in order of the prompts (yay ordering systems!), and I have yet to complete Prompt #2 - but I'm on it! The oethers I _have_ completed are near the end. So. I HOPE YOU ENOYED YOUR STAY.


	2. 2: Don't Cry

**Title:** I Made It All Better  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Diego/Sid  
><strong>Prompt:#2:<strong> Don't Cry.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash, animal pairing. Hoot.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Sid hurts his knee, and Diego is a big old teddy bear.

Diego stopped in his short strides and turned as soon as he heard Sid call out. He watched as the sloth slipped and fell forward, his knees scraping against the hard ice and his face colliding with the soft bump of snow ahead of him.

"Sid!" The saber ran back, his heart pounding as his lover struggled to sit up. He never liked how clumsy the Sloth was. He had thought it was because it was an unnecessary nuisance, an embarrassment. But he soon realized it was because he didn't like seeing the small, sweet mammal getting hurt.

"I-I'm okay…I just…" Sid held his knee as he wiped his eyes, trying to hide his tears. He didn't like to bother the Saber with his crying, he knew what seemed hard and painful to him wasn't too tough for Diego. More tears dripped from his eyes as the other began to lick his face, soothing him. "Don't cry, Sid…"

"It's okay…"

"You're not okay if you're crying, Sid." Diego said a little roughly, "Here…" His tongue rose and tasted the tears, taking them away from the small creature. "Now move your claws, so I can see your knee."

When those dull claws revealed the deep scrape, which bled as it burned the Sloth, Diego cursed under his breath.

"Diego, it's nothing…" Sid tried to lie, but Diego knew him much better than that. The saber smirked and laid down before his lover.

"Shhhh…I'll take care of it." He once again allowed his tongue some freedom, letting it caress the furry knee which lay between his paws. Sid let out a light groan, the wet feeling stinging. He liked it when Diego did things like this for him – took care of him, protected him.

"…I-It…it hurts…" Diego purred at the weakness his lover showed. He loved the Sloth, yes, but having control over him was something he also loved.

"It'll get better. Relax, Sid." He licked, massaging the flesh for a few minutes, not stopping until the bleeding ceased and Sid wasn't twitching from the pain. Removing his tongue, concealing it back behind his sharp teeth, Diego look up with that same smirk still on his face. "Feel better?" He asked.

Sid sat wiping his eyes again, a small frown gracing his lips. "…y-yeah…" He spoke softly. Diego chuckled and leaned forward, nuzzling his neck.

"I made it all better." He whispered, growling near the end, vibrations going through Sid's body. The Saber smiled when long arms wrapped around him, a warm nose nuzzling his head as kissed were placed amongst his fur.

"You're just a big kitty." Sid teased. Diego rolled his eyes.

"Just shut up and thank me, Sloth." He said lowly, but moved closer.

**A/N:** Number two. *hold up two fingers* ... ...this many.


	3. 3: Surprise, Surprise

**Title:** Surprise, Surprise.  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Diego/Sid  
><strong>Prompt:<strong>#3: Shut Up.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash, animal pairing.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> _"Well, surprise, surprise…looks like a certain Sloth knows how to make you shut up yourself."_

"…Or maybe that cloud looks like a dinosaur…it kinda' has that dinosaur nose thing going…"

"Just shut up already."

"So you don't think it's a dinosaur, Tiger?" Diego sighed.

"I don't care what it is, just be quiet." They had been walking for three hours. Sid had been talking for five.

Diego still couldn't figure that one out – maybe his sanity was slipping from lack of peace. All he knew was that the Sloth would not be quiet for even a second, and it was getting on his nerves.

"Hey, Ellie?" Sid asked loudly, the lone female only a few feet away. "Diego thinks that cloud doesn't look like a dinosaur. Do you think it looks like a dinosaur?"

"Who cares if it looks like a dinosaur?"

"So says the mammal who knows I'm right and it is, indeed, a dinosaur." Sid stuck his tongue out. He screamed like a little girl when Diego snapped his teeth at his tongue, and ran forward. Diego smirked. "What was that for?"

"You won't shut up."

"Well, I thought we could all use a little conversation! It's what herds do, Diego." As the two mammoths continued on, ignoring the arguments (as the often did), Sid stood still, tapping his foot. Diego walked close to him and stared him straight in the eyes.

"Sid?"

"What?"

"Just…shut. Up."

"But I wanna' talk! What do I get out of being quiet when I don't want to be quiet?" Diego growled.

"How about this, I _won't_ eat you if you shut up!" Diego said delightful, sarcasm not lost on the other.

"Ha-ha. Like Manny would ever let you eat m- ….Like Ellie would ever let you eat me!" He quickly corrected.

Diego's head hurt. Why was such a small, weak creature – meant to be his prey – so damn good at driving him crazy?

"Well than what do you want?" Sid froze, looking slightly shocked and slightly stupider. "Well?" Diego just wanted the noise to stop. At any cost.

"Anything I want?" Sid asked, the rest of the herd still walking ahead.

"…Anything. So long as you be quiet." The Sloth smiled big, cocking his head to the side the way Diego really liked seeing him do. It was…cute.

"Let me kiss you." … …What? "I will be quiet, if my lips get to kiss you. I think that should make them happy!" He mused, laughing to himself.

"Sid, be serious."

"I am. Now, come here Saber…Unless you want to hear me talk about what every rock we pass reminds me of." It was Diego's turn to be shocked. And frightened. He wasn't sure if it was in regards to the kiss, or the discussion he might have to have about rocks.

"…Fine." He agreed with a sigh. Sid licked his lips with a smile, and leaned forward. Diego watched as his eyes closed, unaware of the other eyes watching them. He could only guess what kind of kiss the Sloth would give him – probably sloppy and weird. He was both very surprised and excited at what he found out when those lips meant his cheek.

Sid's lips were soft, and gentle. And the kiss…was really, ireally/i nice. It was warm and he never wanted it to stop, but was still just a little clumsy enough to fit the Sloth. It lasted for only a few seconds, and Sid topped it off by giving one last small kiss on top of the first after he pulled away. The smaller mammal walked away with a giggle glowing in his eyes, hands clasped together behind his back.

"Okay…I'll be quiet now." Diego could only stare at the mound of snow a few feet away. Maybe if someone threw him into it he would cool down, but his friends had other plans. As Diego tried to take a breath he heard a soft crunching sound closing in on him.

"Well, surprise, surprise…looks like a certain Sloth knows how to make you shut up yourself." Manny's voice held his laughter, and made Diego come out of his kiss-induced coma.

"Uuhh…*ahem*…yeah, well, we just…you know…"

"Suuure, Diego." Responded one of Ellie's "brothers". The two small creatures and the large mammoth walked on, chuckling. The usually proud Saber grew red.

"…damn it…" Well, at least he enjoyed the kiss, he said to himself.

**A/N: **I think I deserve a pat on the back for actually remembering to post this...and if I wasn't so lazy and could actually turn my arm that much, I probably would pat myself on the back.


	4. 4: Abandoned

**Title:** Abandoned

**Pairing/Characters:** Diego/Sid

**Prompt:** #4: Leave me alone.

**Rating:** PG

**Warnings:** Slash animal pairing.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!

**Summary:** Why did they leave me alone?

"I said to just leave me alone."

The voice was too low, too dark for the mouth it came from. The mammal that spoke them was nothing like that. He was soft, gentle, happy. Kind.

Not angry and malicious.

"…Sid…please…" The saber tried, but was quieted by another bark: "Leave me alone!" Diego stared at the little body before him, hugging his knees and shaking just enough to be noticeable. He was in pain, on the inside.

"I just want to be alone." The saber knew this was the sloth's way of remembering all the lonely days he spent – his family abandoning him and no friends to cheer him up or too keep him safe. Sid forced himself to be alone as a means of distracting himself from the past pains. It was…odd, to Diego. And he knew it didn't help the sloth any.

"I don't like thinking of you being alone. You know that." He said as softly as he could. Taking careful steps he moved in closer, preparing for anything. Sid could never hurt him, and would never try. But he played the part, for Sid.

"…" The sloth sniffled. He hated this feeling. He hated how it weighed him down from the inside – pure dead-weight. He hated how it slowly grew, never rapid but like ragged steps going up his spine. And he hated when It became too unbearable to take and he had to sneak away without a single word.

He could feel a warmth caressing his furry cheek. There was a gently purr along with it. _Oh, what a dirty trick_. Sid couldn't resist that sweet little vibration, the sweet vulnerable side of his mate.

"…why…why did they leave me alone?" The words were spoken slowly, like a child. No longer dark, they were confused and sad. But Diego knew just what to say.

"So that you could meet us."


	5. 5: Stalk the Prey

**Title:** Stalk the Prey  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Diego/Sid, Crash and Eddy  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> #5: Never Give Up.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash animal pairing.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!  
><strong>Summary:<strong> "Never give up."

Sid watched Diego take careful steps into the little lake of melted snow, the whole time keeping himself afloat via lying on his back. He grinned, proud that he was better at something than the tiger.

"Come one, Tiger! Remember what I taught ya'!" Sid called out, flipping over and swimming across to him. "Claw, kick, claw, kick…" He chanted. Diego rolled his eyes.

"I know the procedure. Water is still unsafe, no reason to rush into it." iUnless two possums and a sloth are in need of some rescuing/i, he though back. He took a few more careful steps and than watched as Sid swam around without a care in the world. Normally it would agitate him, the Sloth being so careless and arrogant. But Diego was just happy he was getting cleaned up. Lying next to him at night was nice and everything…but he could smell.

"Never give up. Just stalk your prey, Diego." Sid called out again, "Stalk the prey…stalk the prey." His words faded as he pretended to be a predator of the waters. Diego grinned. Oh, he could stalk his prey. He took a big jump.

"It's as simple as one, two, thr – AH!" Sid looked up., to see a growling saber coming for him. "NOT ME!" He swam for his life, got onto land, and began running off as fast as his floppy legs could move him.

Diego stayed on his tail, growling and grinning wildly. He kept his pace just far enough away give the sloth some sort of chance.

As they ran off, Sid screaming for Manny and Diego starting to chuckle, two possums sat in a tree high above. One shook his head.

"Geez, how immature could you be?"

"Some mammals just have no class."

"I agree – MUD PIT!"

"HOT DAMN!"


	6. 6: Say It

**Title:** Say It  
><strong>PairingCharacters:** Diego/Sid  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> #6 Replaced w/ #13: Don't lie to me.  
><strong>Rating: Mature<strong>…but more lightly so.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Slash animal pairing.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Diego wants to know just one thing from Sid. And he's damn well going to answer him.

Diego repeated himself, "Do. You. Like. Me?" He narrowed his eyes, watching with amusement as the sloth before him seemed to shrink in fear.

"I don't…I mean…"

"Don't lie to me." Diego growled out, inching closer, breath rushing out and swaying the fur on Sid's cheek. He backed up, instinct kicking in. But the saber moved closer, and closer.

"… … … …"

"Sid. Answer me." Diego moved in again, eyeing the rock behind his friend. He grinned, and growled with each step.

"… …"

"Why aren't you saying anything?!" He demanded, voice pushing Sid backwards, knocking him against the hard cold surface he didn't recall being so close. "Say something, sloth." His tone dug deep into the smaller creature, all anger and impatience and desperation.

"No! If I don't say anything than I won't lie to you." Sid blurted out.

…Crap. Did he say that? The saber let out a low chuckle and nudged Sid's face playfully.

"Say it." He asked, almost begged, in a whisper. "I want to hear you say it." His breath tickled Sid's small ears. The sloth shook, hating the situation, hating the tiger's persistence. If he wanted to hear it, fine! He could hear it and then eat him or hurt him or whatever it is he was planning for him!

"I-I-I-I might…sorta'…kinda'…completely like everything about you…" He let out slowly. There it went, out his lips and into the one person he hoped and prayed would never find out. "I mean…more like, ilove/i everything about you." He laughed out shyly.

He hated and loved that look on the saber's face after the words drifted away. His eyes burned with something like rage…but wasn't. His grin grew, wide and terribly evil. In more ways than one.

"Ha ha…" Diego chuckled. "Well what do you think I should do about that?" His voice whispered in a way that Sid had never heard. It rocked his bones. Oh, that saber so close to him…Sid's heart pounding…

"…not eat me?" He asked weakly, hugging himself tightly and caving into his personal space, which was slowly being taken over by the mammal before him.

"How about…this?" Diego whispered, preventing Sid from saying anything by licking at the side of his neck roughly. The sloth opened his eyes wide, laying his head back as far it could go. Wow…so that's what this feels like…

"Do you like that?" Sid could barely nod as tongue lashed out once more. His skin tingled and burned so nicely when Diego stopped. "Good. Cause I kinda', sorta', completely love you too." He let his nose nuzzle against that soft fur.

"Oh, Diego. I had no idea-ioooohh/i." And there was the spot. "Oh please do that again." He begged, pulling the saber's head in closer. He held on tightly, refusing to let him go.

"Only if you promise to be all for me…for the rest of our lives, Sid." Diego asked, putting their foreheads together and bumping noses. Sid laughed and pulled him even closer. The sloth stood stuck between a rock and an amazingly gorgeous sabertooth tiger.

"I promise." He said proudly. How could he say no to ithat/i amazingly heart-stopping face?

A/N: I just want to thank all the people who have reviewed, and who are keeping up with these silly little slash/friendship fics. You guys rock! *thumbs up* I'd high-five ya' but than I would smack my computer and hurt my hand. So.


	7. 7: Final Scrap

Title: Final Scrap

bPairing/Characters: Diego/Sid, Manny/Ellie.

Prompt: #7: Go to Hell.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Slash animal pairing.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!

Summary: _"He was getting sick of their fighting. It had been fine when they first met, when it was just mild threats and annoying little jabs at each other. But now…it was starting to shatter his eardrums."_

"Go to Hell!"

"I would but then I'd have to spend all of eternity with you when that small heart of yours stops!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE…!"

Manny closed his eyes.

He was getting sick of their fighting. It had been fine when they first met, when it was just mild threats and annoying little jabs at each other. But now…it was starting to shatter his eardrums. Ellie knew this, but was a little more patient with the two. She couldn't count the number of times she had to listen to her possum brothers start a fight. The only difference was that with Crash and Eddy it tended to end almost as soon as it began.

It crushed her heart at times – every argument made her think one, if not both, was going to just pack up and leave forever right then and there. Every foul word and harsh insult made her miss how they used to chase each other around.

But now Diego didn't chase Sid playfully, and Sid didn't even try to walk anywhere near the saber. The quick little relationship they had begun had melted, and any ideas of a closer relationship than that was lost. "We need to do something…" She spoke quietly, resting beside her mate in the snowy bank.

Manny turned to her, knowing she was right. They sat in silence for a few moments, watching as a few white flakes hit the ground, falling from the tree like the leaves used too. It wasn't however long before their mutual silence was interrupted by a very frustrated and very angry sloth walking back to their campground, eyes like slits and arms crossed so tightly that Manny was worried he was going to get stuck that way…again.

"Tell me to go to Hell will ya'…ya' dumb old saber with your dumb teeth err…" His words were harsh whispers under his breath, but were carried along by the wind as they escaped his lips. He didn't even look at the two mammoths as he passed, but they said nothing about it when they saw a wet streak still slipping down his furry face.

"Sid…" Manny said gently when the usually over-excited member of their "pack" sat down before a big tree, back to them, and huffed.

"I'm fine." He stated matter-of-factly, voice letting the other two know that the unspoken topic was over.

"What happened this time, Sid? You have to tell us." Ellie's words and her voice always seemed to sooth any animal deep down into their core. And that's one of the reasons Sid found Ellie a great source of comfort wherever they were, whatever happened. He could hear her feet crunching the snow beneath her as she walked over to him. When her trunk rest on his shoulder, fur tickling his neck, he wanted so desperately to just push it aside.

But this was Ellie. The mother of the group. A fitting title for her, and everyone agreed.

"Same thing that happens every time he offers to go get sticks for the fire with me." The wind chilled him to the bone. Oh, the plus side of being a big ten-ton mammoth with all that fur…

"Well, Sid, why do you let him go with you if all you two do is end up fighting while you're out there?"

"Maybe what you should be asking is why does Diego always offer?" Sid turned his head and stared at Manny for a moment. The other saw something in his eyes he had been starting to see a lot of. Something not Sid, something lost, something broken. Manny hated that look. He was annoyed by Sid almost constantly, but he refused to ever let that look seep deeper into the rest of him and change who he was.

"What…do you mean?" Sid asked, unsure of what he himself made of the question. "He probably just wants to pick a fight and annoy me or something…it always starts out as a nice conversation. But it never ends that way – he makes sure of that." Sid said bitterly.

"So you just think he wants to be around you to argue?" Ellie asked, starting to see a bigger picture in the whole situation. "That doesn't make much sense if he tries to be nice to you before…" She tried to find the right words, "…before your opinions differ."

"So, what? You're saying it's my fault?" He asked quickly.

"Of course not, Sid. I don't think either of you are to blame." She replied honestly, meeting the smaller mammals gaze. Silence circled around them, before Sid turned to her and smiled.

"You really think he wants to be around me?" Ellie smiled and nodded, tusks bouncing up and down. Sid turned to Manny.

"A lot more than you may know." The look in the sloth's eyes changed, slowly, but changed. Like the sun finally rising into the sky, turning the black and grey to blue and white. He felt better with that familiar look coming back to his friend's face, even when soft steps came closer to their resting spot.

Ellie stood up as soon as she saw Diego, head down and shoulders almost slumped. He raised his eyes, and looked around at his companions. Clearing his throat he found only a few things to ask.

"Um…where are Crash and, uh, Eddy?"

"Out causing trouble more than likely." Manny offered up. Ellie gave him a look and nudged his trunk. She sat down beside him, and they both watched as Diego eyed Sid. He slowly made his way over to the other.

"You think it'll all end tonight?" Ellie asked, a small grin on lighting up her face. Manny turned and smiled when he saw Diego nuzzle Sid's cheek, the sloth laughing lightly with surprise and joy .

"I think it'll be a little quieter around here from now on."


	8. 8: Human Extraordinaire

Title: The Human Extraordinaire

Pairing/Characters: Diego/Sid

Prompt: #8: Take of your clothes.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Slash animal pairing.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Ice Age movies or the characters and settings involved in them. I am merely a humble fan who thinks these two should get to it already!

Summary: _"Well, I like my new clothing! This jacket really brings out my fur coloring!"_

Diego stared up around towards Glacier Pass. He doubted they would make it there before it was closed off by snow, even if he wasn't leading them iexactly/i in that direction.

"Sid! Come on. We can't stay here all day." The saber watched as the mammoth passed him, irritation in his eyes. His big steps landed on the remains of the humans' campfire and their forgotten possessions. Laughing joyfully behind the two, Pinky clapped his hands in excitement.

Turning, Diego was shocked to find Sid prancing around in front of the human child fully dressed in some of the left behind wardrobe that had laid scattered on top of the cliff.

"Check it out!" Sid called out, pushing out his chest, "iI am Sid! Human extraordinaire!/i" He said in a deep voice. "I think the kid likes it! What do you think of my new look, Diego?"

"I think you look just as annoying as before."

"You can't look annoying." Manny pointed out, adding on after turning around and eyeing the sloth, "Then again I have been wrong before…" Slumping over Sid stuck his tongue out.

"Well, I like my new clothing! This jacket really brings out my fur coloring!" Manny sighed, grabbed the baby with his trunk, and continued on, not even bothering to shake his head at his bothersome new companion. "Hurray up. We can't miss the humans."

Diego agreed, watching the smaller mammal with interest as he refused to take off his new treasures. "They are my clothes now, and I can wear them if I so choose." He declared and tried to pass Diego with his dignity sticking out.

"Sloth…take off your clothes." He growled with finality, walking around Sid before stopping just close enough to feel his stiff fur in his face. "Besides, I like seeing you with them off better…" He licked the sloth's cheek and went after Manny.

Sid, shocked, tried for a smile and a laugh, failing miserably. "… …um…wait, what?"


End file.
